My First Appraisal!

You would think why would anyone want to describe an appraisal process… first day at college.. first date.. first kiss.. first night would b more interesting to describe…

Boss... (...this refers to you.. not my boss… generally people from aamchi Mumbai tend to call random ppl as boss) u’ll njoy my appraisal process as well…

After working for more than 3 yrs in a govt. office on a meager stipend… this was the first time I felt  a tinge of the corporate aggressiveness in me! (Not being used to the bargaining process… I guess I needed my mom or my friends to accompany me for shopping!)

Day 1: After filling up the KRAs and self-evaluation… the form came back to me after my boss’ review.. and as expected, boss had given me a “2.0 - needs improvement” tag everywhere. No matter whether I had rated myself as 5.0 - outstanding, 4.0 - exceed expectations or 3.0 - solid contributor!

He handed me the prints early in the morning and fixed the one-to-one after lunch.

I didn’t have the slightest idea that an appraisal is like shopping at the fashion street… he says a 2 & I say a 4 & we settle at 3!

After lunch he guided me to the conference room himself… I was in my usual jovial… bouncy way… smiling at the passersby… they were wishing me good luck and I casually greeted them n thanked them! Boss (this time I AM referring to my boss!) in turn would laugh and comment “There’s no need for that! She seems to be very casual” (I swear… and it never seemed to me that I was taken to the conf room to be grilled! …well there IS a reason to that… I have a rather cool boss…!)

Inside the conference room… he started the blah blahs of any typical boss… We have a lot of expectations from u… u r a young blood.. u shud b creative.. we saw ur track record… u topped in your grads… so keeping that in mind…………………………….

I was rather bored… he always keeps on telling this (obv. its his duty to!)…… and then suddenly he was like… “You don’t have to be known as any ‘pretty girl floating here n there’…” Looking at my dropped jaw he cleared, “U like it or not… everyone here knows you that way!” (he has a rather amazing observation & also knows each n every person on all the 4 floors of our office building!)

Boss! Now wat was that! A part of an appraisal talk!

He lectured some more.. & then asked me whether I had any argument against what I had been rated… No one has to accept what others rate them.. u can fight back… we r here to grow.. u, me, & everyone else.. so tell me.. defend urself!

By this time I was so lost… ARGUE… DEFEND… What! am I supposed to fight with d boss! Is it really.. actually… factually.. so or is it like this only with my boss! (coz… he’s really a cool guy.. but the prob was that he is a sensitive one too… ). 

I was silent & meditative..

He asked again “Do u have anything in your defence???” I was still silent and in deep thought…

The court was adjourned for the next day… I was supposed to present my justification by lunch time the next day..

DAY 2: I just read & re-read the comments given by my boss… just to find out some catch here and there on which I could argue with my boss! (Well.. there are many… but nothing to argue.. just needs improvement… needs improvement… & needs improvement…!!!

Improvement!... of course… there it was.. just right there… this word itself “Improvement”!

A girl interested in the miracles of the nature, the sea, the sun, moves completely in to the unnatural world of banking… debits, credits, transactions, accounting & what not! Learns all the basics… & can now even explain complicated bits and pieces of this... money-magnet world within no time, actually!

Is this not improvement??

Well I explained (read it as ‘argued’) all this to my boss… (confidently enuf) and believe me my arguments did confuse (& may be surprised) & pinched the boss’ confidence instead!